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Die Ermordung des Grafen Engelberth

Es geschah im Fach Heimatkunde in der Grundschule.

Wir lernten von den Grafen von Berg die in der nahgelegen Schloß Burg herrschten.
Besonders hervorgehoben wurde uns von unserer Lehrerin dabei der gute Graf Engelberth.
Er war sehr barmherzig, gab den Armen und kümmerte sich um das Wohlergehen des Volkes.

Dies war aber einigen seiner Widersacher ein Dorn im Auge und so kam es, das man ihm in einem Hohlweg auflauerte und ermordete.

Diese Geschichte, obwohl stark vereinfacht für uns kleine Knaben, hatte einen tiefen Eindruck auf mich hinterlassen.

Ich lebte also in einer Welt in der das gute einfach so umgebracht werden konnte?
Wie konnte das sein?
Diese Geschichte brannte sich mir tief ein.
Und von da an, wo immer ich hinschaute, bis zum heutigen Tage, dasselbe Muster wiederholte sich Tag für Tag.
Das Böse, eigennützige, triumphiert, das Gute, selbstlose, leidet und kann einfach so umgebracht werden, ohne Konsequenzen.

Damals, war es eine Art Schock für mich, ein gewahr werden, auf was ich mich hier in dieser Welt eingelassen habe.
Einer der Faktoren, warum ich began mich in mich zurückzuziehen und die Welt mehr zu beobachten.

Bis zum heutigen Tag sterben die Guten allzu häufig sehr früh, werden frühzeitig “verunfallt” oder “verselbstmordet”.

Es dauerte dann auch nicht lange bis ich mich in meiner späteren Jugend auf die Suche nach den Ursachen dafür machte.

Aber das ist eine andere Geschichte.

Das blaue Ringbuch

Es geschah in meiner Grundschulzeit und vielleicht reichte es bis in das erste Jahr der Realschule hinein.

Ich hatte angefangen in einem hellblauen Ringbuch alles Wissen zu sammeln welches ich lernte.
Die Auswahl war sehr selektiv, ohne das ich mir dessen zu Anfang bewusst wurde. Ich sammelte dort alles was mich berührte, und ich fügte manchmal eigene Bilder hinzu, wie abgemalte ägyptische Gottheiten. (Isis hatte es mir vor allem angetan seit ich Götter, Gräber und Gelehrte von C.W. Ceram gelesen hatte.)
Das Fach Heimatkunde hatte es mir besonders angetan. Etwas von den Menschen zu hören die hier einst in ferner Zeit in ihren Burgen gelebt hatten gab mir ein Gefühl von Verbundenheit. Ein Anker im Zeitstrom.

Mit der Zeit wurde mir mehr und mehr bewusst, das es mir nicht möglich sein wird, alles zu sammeln. Es war einfach zu viel, ein Meer von Wissen, und ich stand dort mit einem kleinen Ringbuch und versuchte es auszuschöpfen. Es war dabei vielleicht weniger die Menge, als die Tatsache, das ich keine persönliche Beziehung mit dem ganzen Wissen, mit der ganzen Welt aufbauen konnte. Das es immer nur Bruchstücke sein würden denen ich begegnen konnte.

Eine gewisse Ernüchterung, Enttäuschung machte sich breit und ein Bewusstsein der Isoliertheit. Ein Gefühl von Einsamkeit und ein Hauch von eisiger Unendlichkeit.
Und Traurigkeit.

Später, im Alter von 12,13 Jahren, sollte dies nahtlos zum Start meiner Sinnsuche führen. Aber das ist eine andere Geschichte.

Damals führte dieses blaue Ringbuch, und die Erkenntnis, das nicht alles Wissen in dieses hinein passt, das ich nicht alles in der Schöpfung damit aufnehmen konnte, zu dem Gewahrwerden der Beschränkungen die Zeit und Raum uns auferlegen.

Aber dies dauerte nur wenige Jahre an. Als ich mit 14 anfing zu meditieren, erfuhr ich, das all dies in mir ist, das ich nicht getrennt von allem bin. Zu erfahren, wie ich mit allem verbunden bin, der Natur und der Stille, löste alle Konflikte und beendete meine kurze intensive Suche sofort.

Aber auch das ist eine andere Geschichte.

To lovely to be silent right now

Blind to the sounds around you, deaf to the colours of this symphony. Not seeing that you are all this, part of this and a single unit at the same time.

Flying high at times like an eagle, a piercing cry on your beak breaks the skies, dances at the top of this symphony, then falling down again, being the murmur of the waters in the ground, the bass in this symphony, the grumbling and rocking earth, slow, patient, ultra low in frequency.

Whatever your voice in this symphony is, it happens in time, and yet, it is so marvellous an experience that you come here again and again, feeling, hearing, seeing, tasting, smelling this symphony again and again.

Oh, this time I will play this tenor, being a hero, fanfare to the attack, and I will die a glorious death, rising like a star and falling like a meteorite.

At other times you prefer to play the bass, giving the drum beat to the other players, your beat like the applause which cheers them on.

Oh how marvellous to feel oneself as part of this symphony.

What a glorious all-encompassing experience this is.

There are people who want to escape this.
Makes me wonder why?

You must have lived trillions of lives to get bored of this. Or lived countless of lives being totally separated from your own reality.
But once you get a glimpse of who you are again, once the awakening happens, there is no stopping. You begin to dance and praise this creation again, in whatever way that suits you.

I don’t understand this bone dry souls, having separated themselves completely from this symphony, thinking they are in fact the god, the creator of all this. They are mistaken. Their reign can only exist in copying what already exists, in taking apart and putting together again. They deem their creations, beings, machines superior, and yet, compared to the original creators force, they are clumsy and ugly only.

You are a creator by nature as you are an expression of this creative force that permeates the universe.
You are an individual and yet at the same time embedded in that field.
Nothing to fear, as even death looses its grip knowing this.
Your joy is travelling far, and wherever it goes, it inspires.

You know, that all this is routed in silence.
Yet the music to lovely to be silent right now.

Even here

Even here

Remembering my own birth, I know how it felt to fall to earth.
It feels like falling from a clear, soft lightness, to heavy molasses.
It felt sticky, labour-some, and most of all, suffocating.
What was instantaneous in the world I came from, takes ages to develop here.
One thought there, takes years to develop here,
and usually only few people have the discipline to stick to an idea until it manifests.

Impatience was my companion.

But even there, in that time of impatience in that slow, cumbersome world,
there was this beauty present everywhere.
I found it in nature most easily.
Humans seemed strange to me all the time, covered in mud of prejudices, concepts and dogmas, even me.

While digging deep into meditation in the Ashram, the Presence was all-pervading.
But a person was there all the time, the sense of I.
My practice started in a childlike manner, and I dived deep passed all obstacles immediately.
Nothing was easier then letting go.

While learning for school, while studying, growing up, from where I came, my family…
Even here, this continuous thread, that combines all these stages, that sense of awareness, of Presence.

In the warm embrace of a hug, in the sweet kisses of my loved one, in her laugher and her tears,
even here, no one there to take it personally, only one that pervades everything.

A long way have I gone, and in this going, there lies its secret, nothing to take personal here.
In loneliness or in pain, even there, nothing to avoid.

Nothing has ever been taken away from me, nothing ever added.
I am that which one calls the one that is more then the sum of its parts.
Aware of that organism, Brahman as some may call it, nothing is mysterious anymore.

There is no separate identity called I.
It is an image on a screen, the snake in the night that turns out to be a rope in the sunlight, a castle in the air.

Nothing has ever been taken away from me, nothing ever been given.
Adding wholeness to wholeness results in wholeness.
Adding infinity to infinity, infinity remains.

Indulging in this awareness, what appears as this person called me, is a play on a screen.
The screen is real, the play on is not.
We identified with an image like a lover, and became lost in it.
The result is the experience of separation and pain.

And yet, even here, lies great beauty.
Nothing to avoid,
neither joy nor tears.

Even here,
nobody is present.

Leadenly Times, or, Why Arjuna had to fight

Once I was so much engulfed in seriousness that it felt so heavy, that it was almost impossible to bear. Everything was full of meaning, heavy of bearing like lead. It was hard to breath, hard to sleep, only the silence in meditation was an escape.

The thought of me having to fight, although knowing that all fight is fruitless, was impossible to bear and to face for me. I knew it, since I started realizing my silent inner nature, and reading the Bhagavadgita, that the time will come when I will have to fight.
And like Arjuna, the thought of this, terrified me. All the time in this years, it haunted me like a ghost. This scene has engraved itself deeply into me.
Times were grimmer just 30 years ago. The world didn’t look like it would be changing for the better at all. It looked like I would have to live and fight  for light and freedom, knowing that I will ultimately fail, letting ignorance fall upon earth and succumbing myself to it as well.
The only honor was in dying for a just cause.

Comparison of Devanagari fonts on OS X using the 807 documented ligatures of classical Sanskrit, according to the research of Ulrich Stiehl

This short article is from my new blog https://sanskritstudiesblog.wordpress.com.
The actual work is to be found in the PDF that you can download at the end of the article. It took quite a lot of time to create this chart. As a result I can see that finally the Macintosh has grown up and is supporting Sanskrit without major hassle.

Sanskrit on the Mac
Before OS X 10.10 Yosemite there have been only two fonts in OS X with support for Devanagari characters, this have been Devanagari Sangam MN and Devanagari MT.
Since Yosemite the fonts Kohinoor, ITF and Shree have been added. All 3 come in several styles, making it thereby possible for the first time to write Sanskrit in Italic and other styles right out of the box, without buying additional fonts.

To use Windows OpenType fonts like Sanskrit 2003, Chandas, Uttara and others on the Mac, you have to use at least OS X 10.7 Lion which introduced support for the necessary OpenType features.

The following table is a comparison of several fonts that can be used on the Mac and that are freely available. Despite this free availability, please observe the copyright and license under wich these fonts are distributed.

Advaita Today ◦ Western Masters of Nonduality

Francis Lucille, Rupert Spira, Greg Goode, Jeff Foster

Michael Tsarion – The Posthuman World

Quelle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7KIPdVWeUE

All dies kümmert mich nicht mehr

I dachte, wenn ich erst einmal alle Antworten auf die großen Fragen habe, die Frage nach dem warum ich hier bin und worum es im Leben geht, habe ich alles erreicht, was es zu erreichen gibt. Ich dachte, wenn ich ‚erleuchtet‘ bin, gibt es nichts mehr zu tun. Ich dachte, wenn der Fragende loslässt und sich öffnet, gibt es nichts mehr zu tun.

Ich irrte.

When the mind falls into the heart

„…When the mind falls into the heart,
everyone lands back on the original tree
where they began, though no one
has really gone anywhere.
…“

frei übersetzt:

„…Wenn der Kopf ins Herz sinkt,
findet sich jeder auf dem Urbaum wieder,
wo alles began, obwohl niemand
jemals irgendwohin gegangen ist.
…“

Bob O’Hearn, Sky of Mind

The Miracle of Experience

Quelle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oWHbsHO2-0

The Nature of Perception – Rupert Spira

“The collapse of the inside self and the outside world”

Quelle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjwBWE64fG0

Why am I Not Enlightened Yet?

How wonderfully and clearly explained .

Quelle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=GVCeCqwAkFE

Fall Into the Arms You Can’t See

Quelle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGvzwjW_Q5s

Vielleicht Logisch – Robert Anton Wilson – Maybe Logic – Deutsch

With deep gratitude to Robert Anton Wilson († 11. Januar 2007), who helped me to become more conscious of my invisible inner walls.

Quelle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hx32LIb0ZdE

 

Not of my concern anymore

I thought, once you know the answers to the main questions, the answers to why you are here and what life is all about, you achieved all there is to achieve.
I thought, once you are ‘enlightened’, there is nothing more to do.
I thought, once the one who asks the questions lets go and opens up, there is nothing more to do.

I was wrong.

Robert Monroe’s Out of Body Experiences

Quelle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBii06UyWwY

Background Studies 3

Background Studies 2